*Remarks made at the wedding of good friends, in Sweden in 1988* It is a huge joy for me to be present today, as I literally grew up with the Vickers family.  I Count Peter one of my dearest friends, and he is godfather to our son Philip, One of the things I now have in common with Peter is that we both have Swedish wives (though I can't claim any credit at all for the wise choice he made). "Marriage is a mistake every man should make," said a bloke called George Jessel.  Well, Peter and Kerstin have now made it, and I don't think they will look back on it as any kind of mistake.  What, with the benefit of hindsight, they may consider a mistake is not to have given more careful thought to the strains liable to be placed on any marriage by an attempt to unite the Swedish and English cultures. You may wonder what I mean.  Well, this problem has many angles to it, but the most serious matter on which the whole issue focuses is the subject of the weather. The other night as my wife Elisabeth got into bed she conjured up a possible headline on the front page of one of our tabloid newspapers: "Swedish woman dies of frostbite in English bedroom!"  And that was in May! Every marriage has its element of suffering, and for Elisabeth the temperature of the English bedroom has been one of the most serious crosses to bear. Be warned, Kerstin!  What you have to realise is that centuries of English character have been forged by exposure to appalling bedroom conditions. Acclimatisation to sub-zero temperatures when getting in and out of bed have made the success of British expeditions to the North and South Pole a mere formality. English public schools - one of which was privileged to have Peter as its head boy (?) - have been specifically designed to toughen up their inmates by thorough venlilation of the hugh dormitory bedrooms in which the English public schoolboy spends many of the formative years of his life.  Incidentally, it is a well-kept secret that the famed British stiff upper lip is in fact a rigidity caused by exposure to low bedroom temperatures. The toughness of character which built the British Empire owes much to an Act of Parliament passed back In the 1600's which made it mandatory to keep bedroom temperatures below a maximum of 5 degrees centigrade. If your marriage is to survive, Kerstin will have to come to terms with this painful reality. She would have been well advised to have spent a week in an unheated hut in Lappland last winter, to prepare herself for the rigours of the English bedroom. The weather in England is, as you know, not only a major source of concern but also a major source of conversation.  For her first five years in England, Elisabeth found the weather a boring subject, but she now enters eagerly into conversation with neighbours about it.  The English are reticent people who don't find It easy to start a conversation, and she has found that the weather really is something worth talking about - and something which breaks the ice - if you'll pardon the metaphor. On the subject of breaking the ice, another thing which the Swedish woman finds hard is to know how to greet the English. Should she shake hands, or hug, or kiss, or smile faintly and do nothing? It is most awkward. There's been many a time when Elisabeth has stuck out her hand to greet a visitor, only to have to retract it hurriedly in the absence of any response.  And other visitors have been startled when she has embraced them. The English are indeed a curious race.  When she takes the children out in mid winter Elisabeth dresses them up in four layers of clothes and in boots, only to meet the English Mum with her little girl In frilly dress, bare legs/white socks, no hat - and a runny nose.  On the other hand (by contrast) as soon as 2-3 cms of snow falls, the English dress up to the gills, stay home from work, schools are closed and the whole road system in chaos.  Out come snow boots and furry hats, and TV reports of deaths and misery. Peter  will probably already be aware that the Swedes, while being generally very well balanced people, are not at all balanced when it comes to the matter of sun. So much of the year up here in northern Europe is dark and cold that this is wholly understandable. Not only do all the planets revolve around that large fiery ball but as far as l can see, so do the Swedes.  The most able theatre actors and actresses, well practised in the art of the quick change between scenes, would be impressed by the supersonic speed with which the Swedish woman - at the first hint of spring – sheds as much of her clothing as she decently can and prostrates herself beneath the fiery goddess.  Only to put everything back on again quickly when the sun goes behind the inevitable cloud. Peter will find that the first thing Kerstin does in their garden is to seek out the perfect spot which is sheltered from the wind but exposed to the precious rays of life-giving sun. These fundamental differences between the English and the Swedes will be a severe test for any marriage. Fortunately there are compensating benefits too - not only for the revenue of SAS and DFDS. One comes from being bi-lingual.  If, when in England, you want to say something privately to each other while in the presence of other people, you have a common second language to revert to.  This really is an argument in favour of living in Britain, because unfortunately this doesn't work the other way round in Sweden, as all Swedes are so good in English. But more seriously, life is indeed truly enriched by sharing two different cultures and traditions. The traditions of a Swedish Christmas, for example, bring much added warmth to the cold English days at that time of year.  And not only then. We try - and think it is possible - to draw on the best of the Swedish and English traditions without sacrificing the essence of either.  It is easy to think that you leave your country behind you when you move to another – but it isn't like that.You benefit from having two countries as home - and you can take with you what you like about your own country, and leave behind what you don't like! Helen Rowland said that "When a girl marries, she exchanges the attentions of many men for the inattention of one".  Not in the case of Kerstin, though.  Peter is a very good listener.  It is a quality he will need to employ well, particularly last thing at night.  My wife - though Kerstin may not be anything at all like this - likes to discuss the most serious subjects in the most animated possible way, just as I'm about to fall asleep. It's a moment when love and patience are put to the test. I've sometimes been tempted to agree with Michel de Montaigne who said that a good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband. Marriage is a great teacher. H L Mencken said that "A man may be a fool and not know it - but not if he is married." You will be a great help to each other.  And you will be a great help to others. Welcome to Britain, Kerstin!  Please bring Sweden with you.